Ya Gotta Trust Somebody…

What do you do when one of your closest friends suddenly ends up in a position where all it takes is a breeze in the right direction and everything for them is over? What do you do when you've promised this friend that you would stand by them…? But they come to that point where you just can't follow anymore?

I've walked so far, and now I just want to say my goodbyes and let Him take the watch… But every time I try, something else comes about to make me stay. Then I get to thinking about their last words to me… "Are you going to abandon me too?" Sometimes I hate being loyal. There are times when I despise the core values instilled in me by the navy… Honor, Courage, and Commitment.

I find some solace in the music I listen to, but I find myself listening to a lot of spirituals… I'm hearing everything from Prince to Kirk Franklin. Prince's "The Ladder" is a pretty heavy song and it somewhat describes what my peers are dealing with right now. Kirk Franklin's "Brokenhearted" is the message I would like to somehow convey to this friend who is in critical condition.

But the one song that stands out the most is a song I've been hearing all over the place since July. Back when I was as low as I thought I could get. I woke up one morning and the song was just starting… as I listened to the words and the energy grew, it brought me out of the funk I was in. By the end of the song, I just felt rejuvenated. The following day, things just turned around all by themselves.

Now I'm in a new place, and once again it's the music I'm holding on to while trying to keep my sanity. Ironically, it's the same song. Only this time, I'm not just down… This time, the situation seems hopeless; yet I'm trying to maintain hope. I want to write my friend off and just let go; but something won't let me. What really makes it hard is I have no one to talk to about it… I mean really sit down and talk about it. So I turn to my music and pray.

I don't know if the Almighty is just undecided about whether to take her home or let her come back. She could be going through some trials because of what she's done in the past, or maybe just resting while her body heals as best it can under the circumstances. All I know is that it's testing my psychological and spiritual limits. From the moment this all started, I have been walking through territory I have turned away from in the past.

Fortunately, I have songs like the video here to keep me going. I do hope she has more to do here, but if it's His will, then I hope she will just be at peace.

Ya Gotta Trust Somebody…

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