See You Again... (One Wish)

A friend recently asked me if I had just one wish, what would I wish for? My love for movies takes me back to the flick, Forrest Gump when Forrest says "If I knew it was gonna be the last time I talked with Bubba, I would've thought of something better to say."

If I had one wish? One more day. One more conversation. One more time to say what I said last. One more chance to look into her eyes.

One more chance for her to give her daughter one more kiss... Just in case.

If there was only a way to describe the feeling of looking into someone's eyes the last time they would be open. What it feels like the last time they would move would be to squeeze your finger.... Waiting and hoping that's not going to be the last time. Holding on to the idea of them waking up and walking away from what you're looking at... What you know is the end. You just refuse to believe it.

What would I wish for?

Would I wish to go back in time and change that one thing? Would I look through that bag, find and remove... Or maybe, I'd wish to go back to that moment when I last looked into her eyes and tell her then "I'm still here for you". Perhaps I would even go back to that other day, when we buried her mother, and tell her not to go through with the surgery.

Just one wish...

I guess all of that would be selfish though. Especially since the best wish would be that she feels no more pain.

I guess I'll see you later Drennie.... Rest Easy.
25 Jun 1966 - 20 Oct 2009
Just know, I didn't abandon you...
I stayed all the way though.


See You Again by Tonex (Click on link below for song)

http://www.last.fm/music/Ton%C3%A9x/_/See+You+Again?autostart
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Ya Gotta Trust Somebody…

What do you do when one of your closest friends suddenly ends up in a position where all it takes is a breeze in the right direction and everything for them is over? What do you do when you've promised this friend that you would stand by them…? But they come to that point where you just can't follow anymore?

I've walked so far, and now I just want to say my goodbyes and let Him take the watch… But every time I try, something else comes about to make me stay. Then I get to thinking about their last words to me… "Are you going to abandon me too?" Sometimes I hate being loyal. There are times when I despise the core values instilled in me by the navy… Honor, Courage, and Commitment.

I find some solace in the music I listen to, but I find myself listening to a lot of spirituals… I'm hearing everything from Prince to Kirk Franklin. Prince's "The Ladder" is a pretty heavy song and it somewhat describes what my peers are dealing with right now. Kirk Franklin's "Brokenhearted" is the message I would like to somehow convey to this friend who is in critical condition.

But the one song that stands out the most is a song I've been hearing all over the place since July. Back when I was as low as I thought I could get. I woke up one morning and the song was just starting… as I listened to the words and the energy grew, it brought me out of the funk I was in. By the end of the song, I just felt rejuvenated. The following day, things just turned around all by themselves.

Now I'm in a new place, and once again it's the music I'm holding on to while trying to keep my sanity. Ironically, it's the same song. Only this time, I'm not just down… This time, the situation seems hopeless; yet I'm trying to maintain hope. I want to write my friend off and just let go; but something won't let me. What really makes it hard is I have no one to talk to about it… I mean really sit down and talk about it. So I turn to my music and pray.

I don't know if the Almighty is just undecided about whether to take her home or let her come back. She could be going through some trials because of what she's done in the past, or maybe just resting while her body heals as best it can under the circumstances. All I know is that it's testing my psychological and spiritual limits. From the moment this all started, I have been walking through territory I have turned away from in the past.

Fortunately, I have songs like the video here to keep me going. I do hope she has more to do here, but if it's His will, then I hope she will just be at peace.

Ya Gotta Trust Somebody…

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Can We...?

I actually wrote this on Sunday, April 30, 2006
Just about three months before exiting the Navy
Mood: disappointed
Category: Romance and Relationships

Can We Chil together and do the things we do without finding a way to "Beef" about the dumb things? Smooth out the rough edges and just take it as it comes?

Can We?

Can we sit at the table and discuss what we need and need to do to make life easier for "US and OURS?

Huh, Can We?

Can we find a way to put behind us our past and leave it there and begin to as well as continue to construct OUR future? I mean really LAY IT DOWN and do OUR thing.

Waddaya say... Can We?

Can we put all of our money on that same table on payday, pay ourselves first but together, and then work out how to deal with those things that everyone complains about...? You know, the bills?

Can We?

Can we find the reason 'why', and then share it with our seed and peoples to encourage them to try to grow that fruit which is right there before us, to cultivate and till the soil so that EVERYONE can see it is right and do the same?

Can We be that example?

Can we find new ways to make use of our energies to build, and maintain what we build, to last for generations to come?

Can We?

Now I can probably create an image by myself that would do all of these things but without Faith in me and in you... Without Faith in US to help us strive for a higher level of life, the rest is pointless. So Can We share the Faith? To boost our self-worth and confidence in our ability to succeed and triumph in the righteous struggle?

Can We?

Someone said today that I was negative. But they don't know me. When I asked them to take a journey inside me and really see who I am and set aside what I have experienced (which is mostly negative), they refused.

So I'm sharing it with you...

Can We?
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Time...

It seems like there's just not enough of it these days. This paper is due, that appointment is at such and such today. Before you know it, another day, another week, another month has passed you by; nd you feel like you've moved nowhere. Where did the time go?

It always seems like I'm trying to play catch up. For once, I would like to complete something with time to spare. But, for every distraction I manage to shove aside, a bigger one takes its place.
Well, I'm running a bit behind right now. Class starts in just about 10 minutes and once again, I don't feel prepared.

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