X6

Success...! I made it through my Algebra class with a surprisingly pleasant grade and my Sociology grade follows up quite nicely. Though, extremely stressful, I managed to do better than expected. Especially after Saturday's dual exams. #brainfry

Then Father's Day... A day I've dreaded for a very long time. I used this Sunday to reflect on some issues I needed to put on hold, at least, until I completed my finals and had a little space to breathe; especially two in particular that have come up recently I simply haven't had time to process correctly. With the short break from classes, I figured I'd have plenty of time to straighten those and other pressing issues out.

Then the fucking floodgates opened.

Between Monday and today, I was hit with another series of "issues".... FOUR more to be exact. Now, after being slammed with some bullshit from SIX different directions in such a short period of time, I've come to the conclusion that the time has come for me to change how I deal with certain things... and my attitude.

But not before a period of of reflection and to make an assessment of my progress since making the decision to take this path on 21 June 2009...

To pursue that Bachelor's Degree.

Although I plan to remain "out-of-reach" for the next two or three days, I'm not shutting the door or burning any bridges. I will, however, be taking inventory and doing a lot of prioritizing.

That is all.....

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YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT IT BAD

From Lyfe Jennings' album, "Lyfe Change"
Lyrics by LYFE JENNINGS (feat. Wyclef Jean):

No guts no glory  

No pain, no story  

Mama mama don't you worry  

Heaven on my mind, forever on my grind  

Tell God, sorry  

If this ain't heaven where the hell are we  

This kind of plane is so unusual  

I'm beautiful, dammit, I'm beautiful  

[Bridge:]  

See everything happens for a reason  

And the season (the reason and the season)  

Everything, happens some place and time  

So before the mirror shines  

Some people never see the light  

[Hook: Lyfe Jennings]  

You, You Think You've Got It Bad  

You think the world owe you something but it don't owe you nothing  

You, you think that you've got it bad  

Some people have never had a chance at life  

[Wyclef Jean:]  

I live, I die, I laugh I cry  

The more I stay, the more the earth expends, and lends itself to sin  

For Benjamin, I seen him crack his head with the Heineken  

Then snatched his chain  

The same place the sun fall, that's where it rains  

And the same place the eagle fly, down comes the pain  

And the same girl that bring me joy, she bring me pain  

[Bridge:]  

See everything happens for a reason (reason)  

And the season (seasons)  

Everything, every single place and time  

Some people never shine  

Some people never see the sky  

 
[Hook:]  

You, you think you've got it bad  

You think the world owe you something but it don't owe you nothing  

You, you think that you've got it bad  

Some people have never had a chance at life  

[Wyclef Jean:]  

You should everybody shine put your hands in the air let me see touch ya the sky light  

[Lyfe Jennings:]  

This time I'll give my energy and patience, success is waiting  

[Wyclef Jean:]  

You grind, everybody grind, if I ever used to grind I will never touch the skyline  

[Lyfe Jennings:]  

Will I ever see the sky light, will I ever see the skylight (skylight)  

 

[Hook:]  

You, you think you've got it bad  

You think the world owe you something but it don't owe you nothing  

You, you think that you've got it bad  

Some people have never had a chance at life

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The Place Is STILL Abandoned...

In the above photo is an old abandoned school I'd written about in my first essay for English 112. While walking by the place, I noticed they still haven't done anything with it...

I wonder why...

Anyway, here's the essay:

10 Sep 2009
ENGL-112
Prof. Kinsley

Ghosts, They Could Be Anywhere

Believing in ghosts isn't always the easiest thing to do. Something you think you might have seen, but you're just not quite sure. Then, of course, there's the part of describing to someone else exactly what it was you saw. You could get laughed at, ridiculed, or just not taken seriously. Then again, there might be the chance that you weren't alone in seeing what you thought you saw. A ghost, a spirit from the afterlife; the real truth is, people probably see ghosts every day and simply don't realize their ghosts.

My experience with ghosts brings the thought to question: WHO is a ghost, rather than do they exist. There was one time when a few friends of mine and I were certain what we saw could be nothing but a pair of ghosts at an old abandoned building across the street from our grade school.
 
One day, when we escaped from the prison (the schoolyard during recess), we were hanging out in the courtyard of this place which happened to be an old abandoned school. Just hanging around talking about what must have been going on in this old ancient building, kicking cans and doing things that third graders do. We finally got curious enough to look through some of the windows to see all kinds of trash strewn throughout what was more than likely the cafeteria. Windows were busted out. Someone had started a fire in one of the corners some time ago. The place was really nasty.

Well, as we reflected on what must have happened to the place, an old couple walked up to us from inside one of the windows and asked us if we should be getting back to class. Of course we joked around with the old couple for a little while and finally agreed that we should. I remember the old lady saying how good that was and that education was important. We turned around to leave and thought about what'd just happened. When we went back to the window, the old couple was gone.
 

Well, they looked real enough. They weren't transparent. They didn't walk through the wall or anything. They were two real people who talked to us, were dressed decently if not a little old fashioned, and even gave us advice. They were just in a place that doesn't seem like a place they should be, and when we looked twice, wasn't there.

I've talked with one of the friends who experienced this with me not long ago, and he says the same thing. It was one unreal experience and one we will never forget. Both of us look around to this day and silently wonder not if ghosts exist; but who and where they are.

I just wanted to share.

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3 YEAR PLAN...

Just over a year ago, I began putting together a three year plan to do the following:

• Acquire a degree of higher education
• Recover financial losses incurred between 2006 & 2009
• Separate myself from the negative shroud that's seemingly covered me since 1994

The past fifteen months have not been easy with all that's happened... The heaviest part of it all is the loss of several friends to mortality. Tomorrow, I intend to face that dark place yet again as I say goodbye to yet another friend.

Damon Wayans said it perfectly in his analogy of the male "mid-life crisis" in an interview with Tavis Smiley. It struck him when he was hit with a very close death, a divorce, and a move... and then, when he looked in the mirror only to find death staring back at him. In that, I must say, he'd just described the last year of my life.

Soon, I will be taking an assessment of my progress so far. From where I'm standing, about to start this battery of Algebra exams (it is safe to assume multiple definitions of the word "battery").

It's hard, but I'm keeping my head up.

-----
#nowplaying "Don't Give Up" covered by #Bono & @aliciakeys


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Seven Years Ago...[NTS]

Not long ago (5 February 2010) my son Ezekiel turned seven (7) years old. Yes he was born premature and, as you can see, he has come quite a long way.

He spent nearly three months in Kapiolani Medical Center's neonatal intensive care ward. During this time, my boat was in Pearl Harbor shipyard, so I was working some pretty crazy hours. From 7:30am (6:30 on duty days which were every three days) to no earlier than 6pm (18:00 for you military types).

Well, without a car during this time, living almost two hours away from the hospital and over an hour away from work, this was a very challenging time... But someone was almost always with him day and night.

His mother, after taking his sister to school would bus it to the hospital in the morning to stay until about 7pm when she HAD to go and pick up Joycelyn. Sometimes we'd see each other... Sometimes we wouldn't. Some nights I would get to the hospital between 7 & 8pm and stay the night... Other nights I would take the last bus home at 1am... arriving at 3am to shower, take a quick nap and head right back to work. After an altercation on the boat, the CO gave the order to release me at 5pm daily (except duty days) to alleviate some of the stress.

The weekends, when I wasn't on duty weren't as bad. I simply didn't go home.

When he finally did come home, there were no issues. In fact, he grew rather quickly. But it was during that trying time that I learned some serious lessons.

It was also during that time when I decided I was leaving the Navy.
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