You know, I'm just about tired of the bullshit I have to endure from some folks.
I am no longer in the military... All of the shit you motherfuckers imagined I had when I was, I DEFINITELY don't have now. Yet, there you are, with your hand out, like you have the right to some kind of fucking reward. I don't know about that little world you're in, but in THIS world, you can't get grape juice from a rock, no matter how hard you squeeze it.
I can go on and on about what I wanted to do, about what I tried to bring together, and about what I wanted to build... But what's the fuckin' point? If you were given something that never existed and it was taken away... Would you miss it?
I remember one morning, while ironing my clothes for work, hearing the chaplain say the following on the radio:
"Two people, working together, can do more than twice as much as one person working alone".
I've believed that shit for I don't know how long. For YEARS I've tried to share my vision, based on the concept of THOSE VERY SAME WORDS, with you assholes... And for what? To be ignored, ridiculed, and disrespected while you reach into my pockets to pull apart the threads because there's no money in there.
Well... "I forgive your lack of vision, however I'm moving ahead." (@BrookeLorion ~ Jul 20, 2010 17:56)
I know there's supposed to be a certain level of tolerance for blood and specific institutionalized ideals... But, fuck that... I've reached my limit, and I do NOT intend to even make the gesture of concealing my disdain.
I stayed for as long as I could... I followed, even though I was deliberately being led away from everyone and everything I knew. Across the pond I went. Once there, I was literally on my fucking own. Every spouse I met that was worth their weight in water worked with theirs, shared with theirs and even assisted theirs in finding their place to support theirs. I also watched some do nothing...
I provided to those who needed when I really didn't have to. Even when it came to the point were I could use what I was providing for them. The lack of support to me was clearly evident when a certain someone allowed that something to be taken away JUST to hurt ME. That certain someone knew what my plans were for this thing too... Even more of a reason to let it go away.
The selfish and the ignorant... I want this and I want that. Nevermind the cost or the fact that... Well... It just can't be afforded right now. Money doesn't grow on trees and you are not my only responsibility. Additionally, what can't be gotten "right now" CAN be gotten over time with planning some vision and a little bit of fucking patience. But if you want it that much, you're old enough to work now... Go and get a fucking job.
Then, there are those who really take no consideration, what-so-ever, about what my situation really is. Where am I standing, what I'm trying to do for the future of the whole, what the environment is like where I tread. Then, for their own selfish purposes, they drop all the responsibility on me at a time when I cannot even provide the basic needs for myself.
I've hardly heard a fucking peep from that particular fucker since. At least nothing significant. I'm talking about the one who decided they wanted to spend $1600+ for more than they needed instead of living two hours away and having those same needs met. ALL because they wanted to live closer to their mother...
Six years later, they don't even speak to their mother... Go fucking figure.
This is only SOME of the dumb shit I've had to deal with... I can go on ranting for hours about this shit... But why? The only person I can blame is myself for being involved with these motherfuckers in the first place.
Shit's gonna change... And the change starts today.
I aint dead yet.
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